It is estimated that 10 out of every 100 people suffer from a serious mental illness. That means that of the 110,000 people in the Chatham-Kent area, 11,000 people suffer from a severe mental illness. Of those 11,000 people, each one affects many others around them, especially family and friends. Family can include relatives, friends, siblings, spouses, partners or others who may be close to the individual. What impact does mental illness have on the family? Mental illness can affect families in many ways, but one thing is for certain: it will impact the family in every dimension.

Physically: Living with someone with a mental illness can put extreme stress on a family both as a unit and on individual members. This can be due to changes in daily life and routine, mood swings, financial difficulties, increased demand on the caregiver, stress tension between couples and children, difficulty at work and many other reasons. We all know that stress can take a terrible toll on the body. Family members are under extreme amounts of stress and may begin feeling ill due to effects of that stress. Stress related symptoms can include headaches, body aches, pains, digestive and bowel problems, or it may aggravate an already existing medical condition. If a family member becomes ill, the demand of assisting someone who is mentally ill may be almost overwhelming.

Emotionally: Emotionally the family member may be going through some often conflicting and intense emotions. Worry, fear, anxiety, anger, confusion, guilt, love, helplessness, resentment, embarrassment, frustration and the list goes on and on. Families may feel guilt that they caused the illness or that they could have prevented it. Because of this they may feel unnecessary guilt and blame themselves for something they didn't cause and can't control. The family may also be dealing with feelings of helplessness, anger or disappointment at what may seem like a confusing mental health system where there are as many questions as there are answers.

Mentally: The family often feels that they are solely responsible for the care of the mentally ill person. This can cause the family member to become so wrapped up in the mental illness of their loved one that their own life may get forgotten. The family member may feel the need to maintain the routines of the household and family life all on their own. They may want to be involved in the decision making of all treatment options and feel that it is necessary to do so, even though it may not be necessary. They may become afraid to leave the mentally ill person alone. It becomes difficult to plan ahead when always wondering what lies in tomorrow. It is difficult enough to deal with these scary feelings but it is twice a difficult to make rational decisions when your mind is clouded with the stress of other issues. The uncertainty of the future may create tension and anxiety. Will my loved one get better? How long will it last? When will the next crisis be? These are all valid concerns, which can contribute to an already tense and uncertain situation. They are often torn between the needs of the ill person and their own. All too often their own personal needs get put on hold. Phone calls may be cut short just in case someone is trying to reach them. Sleep may be interrupted as they wonder if the phone will ring in the middle of the night. Necessary excursions are short so that they are available if needed or in case of emergency. The family may feel embarrassed of the mental illness and isolate themselves from family and friends and not talk about the illness with anyone.

Spiritually: If all the energy a family has is going to caring for an ill individual and keeping the household operating it leaves little energy left for devoting to the nourishment of the spirit. Spirituality can mean many different things. Perhaps the family member has lost an interest in meditation because she just can't find the time or energy. Maybe they have stopped attending church or synagogue because they don't want to be gone from the house. Perhaps they are struggling with the question of "if there is a higher power, why did this have to happen to a good person like me?" If your sense of spirituality comes from within it may grow dim because there is just no time left to nurture the spirit with kindness, love, acceptance, and patience. For many family and friends, spirituality becomes a neglected source of comfort.

The impact of mental illness on the family is as intricate and devastating as the mental illness itself, but there is help and hope. We have to acknowledge the great effort put forth by friends and family every day who help to keep families functioning and making sure their ill loved one is cared for and that their needs are met.